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Sunday, 23 March 2014
Lately, I've been feeling rather disturbed. Easily annoyed and pretty selfish. I'm not in my best state for this period of time. No, i did not do it intentionally. It came without signal and what i faced after that was something common.
I don't know if i'm not allowed to show my flaws. I don't know if i'm actually not allowed to show my weaknesses. I mean like there are times i would misbehave, there are times i can be really wise, positive and calm. In fact there are times i can be really patience. But life is like a cycle. You can't be on top all the time cause there are always down and up moments.
I might always be on my best attitude but the moment friends see my flaws or how should i say?
Showing attitude? Yea attitude. The moment that side of me is revealed, people just choose to stay away. Like literally stay away and decided to leave things hanging. Or rather goes like 'Oh no, i finally realize that she can't be a friend to me' kind of thing.
"No one notice your tears. No one notice your sadness. No one notice your pain. But they all notice your mistakes"
Yes my mistake. Is that even fair? *I swear i can cry now while typing this. No, it's already watery actually*
In case you need to know me, let me just share since letting people figure out yourself sounds like a heavy and tedious task.
When i'm angry, yes leave me for a moment. When i say a moment, that only takes about 2-5 minutes.
Then start conversing with me, with the intention to clear the air instead of pretending like nothing happen.
I might be angry with your attitude but i actually need you to stay through by my side no matter how ugly the situation can be.
I may at the start, speak out of anger but after a while, i will be fine.
I just need you to put in the effort to talk to me instead of keeping quiet and stay away cause by staying away with the thought that i need my space, you are dead wrong. That will only spark more anger in me.
A friend told me that it's actually difficult but worth the try.
Just don't do nothing. The nothing will only make the ugly situation uglier.
Lastly, you know, i'm just another typical lady whose heart is actually really fragile. I can be mad for hours and then, i'll be one emotional heart broken girl. Cliché enough? Well that's my nature.
Sigh.
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